last rung of the spiral

to the top to take a breath then down again but not so far this time

staying aligned in the madness watching it happen out of body but controlled and without fear? really wow

is this what it feels like to be on the last rung of the spiral turning the dial to a preferable station where communication is clear and true

the new energy this new space gracefully serving myself upwards outwards expanding in and out of the void the yin and yang dancing within each other no separation passed the interpretation of gender in fluid and honest oneness

the reflection expected and confirmed no real surprises basing all decisions on the less arrogant assumption that life happens and we can only react to it as there is fact in it turning whirling around upside down and beautiful right side up and messy

mission completed now onto the next one 

the responsibility of karma

via Daily Prompt: Inheritance

“These karmic patterns are not in themselves innate curses or blessings, for our will, intention, and grace are always operative. But anything can behave erratically if willfully suppressed for generations. Carl Jung wrote about the personal as well as the collective unconscious, saying that both talents and troubles are to be found in the subconscious. He didn’t say how the unconscious works its way through the family lineage, but he did claim that there was gold in the “shadow” of the personal and collective unconscious. I believe that we can use the astrological technique of overlapping charts, called synastry, to help us see that gold in the family inheritance, as well as the imprint of family shame and secrets. We can become conscious of what has been hidden, and become freer by stepping out of the secret matrix of familial denial. We can then make choices to express and heal rather than to conceal. We can change the pattern for the next generation.” – Elizabeth Spring – Family Karmic Inheritance

attempt one

looking at the pages written fully and in-depth, cascades of important information vibrations of hesitation and lack of accountability.

i will stop this, i will face this, i will know this now. it will be literally impossible to change the direction of this river if there is lack of acknowledgement of its incarnation in me.

a precious failsafe created in real-time reset the mind with a new pattern of parameters. the pressure is off but concentration is on i refuse to pass this down to the next generation. when a little one incubates in my womb pressing against my skin my kin deserves a fresh start apart from this nonsense.

practicing real-time all cells aligned in a common goal – to liberate to confront to release.

attempt two 

a year’s worth of cosmic balance brought the man i call father to his knees. a window of opportunity here to make it clear that the resentment he feeds he has given himself by entertaining the same qualities he despises in his father.

whats more is that i am alive and fresh with awareness finally able to speak my heart truly without fearing repercussions.

gifting the knowledge acquired i patiently wait for this to radiate in his nervous system giving the whole of my learning without expectation.

the pride wall is quite thick but if 2% of the arrogance can be released and transmuted with the love that i omit we are entering some kind of hopeful rearrangement.

attempt three

mother martyr indeed still holding onto the memories of the past in which she still believes life has just happened to her like a mannequin with no real world participation.

a revelation she listens with her heart and sees me just as energy. such a relief i knew she had it in her the entire time. in fact she made me and gave me this chance to circumvent this karmic pain.

although draining at points there is a glimmer of misfiring energy circling bowing in and out around and back again.

the pride wall is thick yet the poreousness ignites belief that the solution will be slow and simple. i taste her awareness as it trickles.

breathe in the new air dance in the new space 

 

 

catch up

the female experience wandering reaching farther faster than ever before in human recollection unearthing deception and lies –  truth immortalised in visions of where we are going

the male finally excepting its limitation the stagnation of not having the answers that the patriarchy once understood so well

thousands of years each cycle turning again to the feminine Kali reaching from the flames to disengage the old world’s interpretation of success

emotionally unbinding circumventing the logic bringing it back to centre – a forgotten technology in a coma awakening to life

will you join us (the masculine) or will the pride be too much to overcome – what is won is so much better on the other side if fear does not devour you 

let us lead for a while like a child holding the hand of its mother you’ll recover we will show you what you have been missing

without our womb there would be nothing to engage with so trust us in the reclaiming of the dormant connection to creation 

step by step sitting on the stairs to eat a slice of humble pie – the competitive nature of existence falling to pieces like a melting iceberg replaced with joy and love 

aha so we never had to struggle, fight, kill, sedate to get through. the masculine so cocky in the formulaic and the logical

missing so many signs along the way that it is not a straight line but a circle, 4D

confronting it is the key in the paradox as nothing lost can be found without throwing away the map that made you go in circles in the first place 

the feminine opening up to the heart the instincts that were dead sparking nerve endings rebooted to complete the human system

will you catch up? because it’s starting we are here and we are rising 

mother martyr

the neck stiffens whilst thinking of the sacrifices that were made – the road laid with good intention

a reflection this annoyance destroying any argument that the choices made were for compassion‘s sake

she lies awake thinking damn should have said that fuck should have done that maybe I need to have mentioned the truth in the root of the situation for contemplation and improvement before the winds come and the seas rise

steamrolled and controlled the keys have already been handed over to darker forces that have waited for her to lose momentum

no escape from the martyrdom the giving tree the emotionless arms that hold your tears her eyelids crunching in their dryness bottling up the oceans inside of her slowing drowning in her own liquids

then lifeless and made of stone she crumbles – skin folding upon itself insensitive and violent

Kali comes in then as destruction creates new space for new synergy and focus no way to control her arms reaching out and grabbing things crushing them under her grasp tiny storms wandering tentacles of fire and ice

silence overcomes and nothing recognizable can be seen – the world is bare and smouldering awaiting further instructions

a grieving goddess wraps herself in her hair a cocoon of light despite having nothing left she inspires herself to make again 

she creates the chains that bind her she realizes

she creates the door out of the prison of her mind and this time instead

the scales will balance a feather and a human heart worth the same – one day the rain will regrow the version she knows she can manifest 

not the martyr but the master 

 

 

belief as matter

as a matter of fact here we are again, down this road, playing  with fire and expecting a cool breeze to materialise somewhere out of nothing.

the road has been paved and traveled down extensively. the twists and turns of it analysed and conceptualised to death over and over again.

yet it is often that memory becomes lazy and unassumingly selective in its participation with real time momentum. a fog moves over the truth like blanket, suffocating any potential of gaging even its outline. it is at this point you know, denial is the new state of being.

at what cost do we keep our pride in tact, our assumptions of who we think we are or christened to believe we are, desperately grabbing onto the falsehoods that rock us to sleep.

what life is this, constantly recycling a pedestal unattainable, a personality uncreate-able a promise unimaginable for what? then we melt into a puddle, gloppy, lifeless and useless.

most of us forget that belief is matter. we think our convictions keep us sane but instead they serve as concrete blocks stacked high and loud. too proud are we to flip the record–no we crash into those blocks every single time surprised to find that nothing has changed.

 

the past is a timeline of evolution, it does not have to still apply.

freedom is on the other side. 

adaptability of the goddess

she is changeable, moving fluidly around in and out of things winged and filled with curiosity. following notable currents that she created to unveil, to veil again – to view from above, to taste from below experience the seasons to evolve and grow

and when she senses that faint warm smell of a shift she opens her arms to the sky embracing the moment when she remembers herself as the past. nothing lasts the only constant is  the reminder that by the time she thought her last thought it already was history.

Burning in agony dropping to the ground with the sound of the world cracking. She melts into a pile, winds pick up all surrounding objects until the universe within universe within universe is engulfed in flame. transcendence the pain of letting go but the welcome of the new with a true self reborn. She turns into nothing as serene and perfect neutrality.

ameen, amen, adonai the surprise that out of the ashes, parts of the world anew puts itself back together. with tenderness the spiral slows. manifestations create the movements shape and place and dream. beautiful arches and reclining domes, foam and fireworks triumphant measures of unshielded energy. transforming cosmically consciously casually constantly becoming a beautiful bounty of life and freedom.

into anywhere everywhere she pleases not taking it too seriously observing and developing beyond her assumed capacity. out out on on  up up down down and then off again when the wind gives her a sign the earth cracks the waters drain the fires burn

and it starts again

 

never waste an understanding woman

...or she’ll harden and leave you.

There will be a point in every understanding woman’s life, where she looks at you and she is a million miles away.

Everything clears, and there is a point of light, a dawn of answers, a beautiful and magical space of perfect union –

She knows there is little time left.

Because the thing is, you have the power to – really see. You are able to really grow, with her nurturing. You are able to really feel with her empathy. No matter what you say, she looks at you the same. Your flaws, are her proudest secrets. She keeps them so close to her heart, and wears them like a medal.

Only a fool treats this exchange like it never will run out.

God only knows, that a woman has a shock to the system when the tank suddenly is empty.

Like a clear sky, with a yellow meadow she understands the picture perfectly.

Suddenly the fork in the road becomes too great to deny, that a sunrise lies on the other side somewhere real and tangible. Her self preservation draws her away like a magnet – gravity pulling, earth torn from its sides, impressively Grand Canyon like.

And there you sit, with nothing to really say but, hey, I am graduating from boy to man.

Understandably so, we all are transitioning in this transitional time for culture, identity, race, economics, gender, love, money, power, the world, the solar system, the universe, the one – from boy to man from girl to woman from experience to knowledge.

However, there is a point – a threshold of understanding, whereby free will and non-free will are equally matched. This point, is where you can choose, to either stay in the same room, or jump out the window. It is here, where the nature of the being decides to evolve, or not. The lack of willingness to evolve, over a period of several attempts at the lesson – will infuriate the understanding woman, as she knows when she is being treated expendably.

Reality has split in two and the roads have become vast and intricate in their opposition.

 

…all you can do is…

 

 

 

don’t be fooled

I’m afraid you cannot say, or put into a box the feeling, the essence of love.

There is no gender there, no type or vibe specific that you can find or draw on a dotted line – sorry.

You can’t sum yourself up in a tag line – sorry.

We are finally here, finally awake enough to understand that maybe we are more connected than we think – more fluid that we speak – more complex than we supposed – more grey than white or black or constants – convictions or laws  

Since life unfolds you cannot know who you are in this incarnation – but you know who you are when you stop, to breathe a second, remembering that you are the one.

It is the lessons you seek, those that can teach you, shape you, change you into the being you want to be.

You fool yourself, to be elated with the surprise of being fooled again.

The mind cannot see, but you can see the mind. Your reasoning will not help as it is out of conception. It all melts away when you pay attention.

It’s not the role, it’s the soul.

No more pretending that you get it. 

Cause you don’t. Your identity is fluid just as your energy has been throughout time.

It’s not a line, but a circle. 

 

 

so it passed

So it passed this little love affair in my mind that dispersed like leaves in November upon a still lake. 

No worries now, I entertained it. No need to explain it as the passing has brought me to a stronger part of self.

A bit of a confusing edge, ebb and flow – awareness set me free to be on a solid and honest platform…unafraid what my heart might do or where life will lead or unfold. Freedom to be bold and limitless in the pursuit of happiness and compassion.

So there is just HIM, in front of me, open to the sunlight, warming up to the idea that it can be US again. 

Without the distraction I have come to the conclusion that digging for resolution is not something that can be done without time. Wounds heal, things that were once hidden revealed to the openness of the sky – not living a lie or compromising this time.

What is good for me is what is good for HIM.

What is good for me is what is good for ALL. 

Ultimately if we all did what suited us best the rest would be history based in love.

What will be now?

golden experience

The most miraculous part of being alive, is that life unfolds in front of you. It comes without warning, another layer to your infinite soul revealing itself. Sometimes we can surprise ourselves, not even knowing the depth of the denial at points. Strange and unexpected turns of events as our characters become more developed, more in balance.

Not being afraid of what this looks like to others is the key to living a deeper relationship life. There will be parts of you and of your partner that you dislike or could do without. Yet it is this balance of dark and light aspects that make the whole so much sweeter.

Being in a true partnership is about working with what IS, not what should be.

The paradox is that in order to love someone fully, get the fruit out of life with someone, you need to be willing to lift the veil in front of your partner as you go. This is a terrifying concept for a lot of us as vulnerability is seen as weakness. The reality is that without vulnerability you cannot truly connect, or transcend mutually challenging situations or conditioning. You found each other because there is a learning to be had between you.

So what if your convictions change, your hair style – the sex you are into – your politics – this is all on the surface.

What is important, is the Golden Experience, or what you are here to teach each other.

Do not fret if you both are jealous people…you can let go of possession together. Don’t sweat if you both have self doubt…you can regain self-respect together. Don’t worry about the lies you both told..you can triumph with the truth together. Love is patient, love is kind and love is forgiving. Love is the true energy of evolution, as it brings us to higher and higher vibratory places. 

The only constant is change.

The only possibility is openness.